I Can Has Sweet Potato?

Here’s another bit of found internet gold. It’s only too easy to imagine this is a conversation between Sid and I. Go ahead, have a chuckle:

You know, a lot of times I write up random posts and then don’t post them. But Best Beloved just called me, and I could not really explain why I was inarticulate about sweet potatoes, so I said I’d go ahead and post this. That way, she can read it at work and know just what kind of day it has been. (Short version, for those who do not feel like reading the whole post: ARRRRRRG. Fucking sweet potatoes.)

The longer version, summarized in conversation form:

Dog: I am starving.
Me: Actually, no. You aren’t starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.
Dog: STARVING.
Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.
Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.
Me: I am now ignoring you.
Dog: STARVING.
Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.
Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.

[There is a pause, during which the dog exits the room in a pointed manner.]

[From the kitchen, there comes a noise like someone is eating a baseball bat.] read more »

Happy Holidays!

It's me! Every girl ever.

I don’t know who wrote this, but it’s brilliant. Who hasn’t had at least one date like this at some point. From the best of craigslist.

It’s me! Every girl ever.
Date: 2007-11-07, 10:38AM EST

Knock knock

Oh hi, how’s it going? It’s me! Every girl ever. I’m really looking forward to this date. I’m not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met, the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in. read more »

4 New Albums

The camera was busy this weekend! I even managed to fill up the flash card. Don’t want anyone to miss these pics so go peek at your leisure:

Christmas at CAMP	Jeff Olson hosted a Holiday Cabaret evening at CAMP bar. Eleven talented singers joined Jeff on stage (including yours truly) for a wonderful night of Christmas music.	Hiawatha Light Rail	Neither Kari, Bob nor I had ridden the Light Rail yet. So after brunch, we did the whole trip from Mall of America to Downtown and back. With a stop for a drink at Hard Rock. :)
Betsy’s Birthday	Everybody got “leid” at Betsy’s Hawaiian birthday party. The punch flowed freely and alcohol induced moments of clarity led to much philosophical chatter and speculation.	Birthdays at Nyes	After stopping in to see Joy and Scott, I was off to Nyes to celebrate both Jeannine’s and Dave’s birthday. We had quite the time — as usual.

The Bitter Films Collection by Don Hertzfeldt

I recall when I saw Rejected for the first time back in 2003. It was the Rabbit who enlightened me and I immediately adored its brilliance and odd humor.

Don Hertzfeldt, (a year my junior), began scribbling the foundations for his films in high school. Now, since hitting the internet, his animated shorts have become as popular as Strongbad or other meme icons. Everyone is familiar with the lines, “My spoon is too big,” and “I am a banana.” And of course, it was out of this film, the whole idea of the crumpet was birthed.

That was 4 years ago. Now Bitter Films has released the collector’s edition set of Hertzfeldt’s work. I watched ‘em last night and it is awesome to see the films on the big screen. :) It’s brilliance all over again. And not just Rejected — the other films are just as witty and clever, not to mention the myriad of little vignettes interspersed throughout the DVD’s. There’s tons to explore as we journey into the rabbit-hole of Don’s mind. Get your set today!

And as if the films themselves weren’t enough, Hertzfeldt is quick to point out on one of the DVDs that “no computers were used in producing this film.” Each frame is stop-animation, photographed with the same camera that was used for “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”. The techniques and results are awesome. Quirky jitteryness overrides each movie and lends a unique style reminiscent of old Sesame Street shorts or early David Lynch cartoons.

Swanky Sid

As the “Manfort Deluxe” that Sid and I inhabit slowly evolves into “Swank Central”, it’s abundantly clear Sid will require one of these. ——>

• Stocked Bar — check
• Copies of Bachelor Pad Magazine — check
• Pipes and smoking jacket — check
• Lots of stylin’ and unnecessary lights — check
• Fez hat for pug — not check (yet)

No worries — this crucial detail has become top priority!

The Commission is Complete!

As I wrote earlier, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the completion of Angelo’s latest work. He stopped by to deliver it last week. The result is fantastic and it now proudly hangs on my wall. :)

See the rest of my collection here.

Zojirushi makes happy rice and more!

I’m lovin’ my new rice maker. I eat a lot of it, so it’s more than handy to have a little machine in the corner that does all the work for me while I prepare other edibles.

The first job I gave it didn’t even involve rice — instead couscous was on the menu and I thought I’d see how it would fair with the wee pasta. While stew was brewing in the crockpot, I set up the new cooker with the following: read more »

What's this? Diablo Cody's back on the market?

[ears perk up — huh? what’s that?]

And she’s got new ink to cover the old to prove it. Photographers were all over this at her Juno premier with Jonny on hand regardless. I think it’s great when two people decide they need to move more apart than more together and can still be on the same team. It certainly is more of a challenge after a relationship, but a friendship is always worth saving.

Good karma to you both. Now go see the movie — out in theater’s now! And — have you read her book yet?

The Real Reason the Queen Hated Snow

by Annette Marie Hyder

I’ve only met Annette via myspace a while ago, but I quickly became enamored with her word-smithing abilities. I’ve always been a fan of people skilled in writing (not being all that stellar myself) and Annette does not disappoint. Her website and blog are full of little poem tidbits that have blossomed from a mature and driven seed. Wonderful stuff.

Annette’s new book is no exception. It’s a collection of poems, stories, recipes, and other bits of goodness with a central theme of home-spun fairy tales and mythology. I especially enjoy the explanations accompanying most of the entries explaining some of the creative insight and thought behind the pieces. It’s a real look into the author’s mind and I’m pleased that she’s so open to share such intimate details with us.

The book also has a central theme focusing on feminism and the beauty that is woman in general. I like to think that we live in a modern world by now, but you’ll certainly agree that we still have a long way to go. Gender inequality and the extra struggle it entails bring out a strong voice of opinion in this collection, but not in an overpowering way. It’s subtle and secondary to the child-like charm each story and poem deliver.

I’m certainly glad to have my copy. Hurry up and buy yours today. Amazon currently only has 5 copies left while the publisher prints more.

The Minneapolis Towing Minions Attack Again

The asshole brigade was out in force last night. I could hear the plow going down the street and then Sid started barking at the perceived threat.

I poked my head out the front door to snap this pic and watch while they proceeded to tow 12 vehicles away — just in my block! No tickets. No warnings. These dick-heads were simply waiting like wolves for 9:00 PM sharp to roll around and then swooped in for the kill. By 9:11, all 12 cars were missing and they were on to the next block.

Sucks to be the unlucky neighbors who now have to find rides downtown and shell out over $238 to get their car back. Not only does the asshole brigade use the “heavy duty” haulers so they can charge more, they force you to pay a minimum of one night’s storage fee — regardless of whether or not you pick you vehicle up that night or the next morning. And of course these people are even less friendly than your typical DMV worker. Clearly deriving a sort of sick pleasure out of maximizing all the victims’ misfortunes and confusion. It’s a complete racket.

The Wedge Co-op

I joined the Wedge today. And that makes me happy. I love the whole idea behind it. If you’re ignorant, a co-op means that one is part owner of the company. In other words, I’m now a stock holder of the Wedge grocery store. Okay — that sounds fancy and such, but in reality it really means I simply choose to pay more for my groceries and eat organically. Then, once a year in June, they send me a check of that year’s profit sharing. Last year it was ~$43.

So forget all that. What interests me is that the Wedge is certified organic. Think “year round Farmer’s Market”. If you’ve had the pleasure of having a steak from the local Farmer’s Market or bringing home a fresh basket of produce from such, you know what I’m talking about. It’s healthier, truer to a greener and more basic form of subsistence, and in some small way — better for the environment. (There’s so much less packaging and what exists is at least recyclable.) :) And it really does taste better. Try it and see sometime.

Although I sort of feel like my wallet was just raped, (I bought all the missing kitchen essentials today), I’m content in the knowledge that I again have a well stocked kitchen, that the money I paid for it goes to the small organic farmers filling the store, and back to me and the other members. Screw you — Cub Foods, Rainbow, Lunds, Byerly’s and others. Forget you — Super-Target and Super-Walmart and Sam’s Club. No more chemically enhanced, ultra-violet light grown, more paper and plastic than food wrapped items for me. I’ve always enjoyed spending an extra dollar on something knowing I’m helping to support the little man, the family business, and the independent. In a way it’s a little like a tip for the extra service entailed and it’s certainly money well spent.

And so I embrace my eco-friendly grocery world with open arms. I just don’t have the hipster glasses to go with it. (Although the tattoos and piercings help me blend in.) ;) And it goes well with my MPR membership, don’t ya think?

Winter is here now, huh?

Here in Minnesota, we’ve been spoiled the last few years. Either no snow until January or such a light dusting that it melts before the plow hit the road. I don’t mind this because it means the morning commute will take as long as usual dealing with the usual retardedness. But when there’s an inch or more drifting snow across the highways, those same people forget that they’ve had years of experience driving in such weather and the traffic mob loses a collective chromosome.

It normally takes 12 to 15 minutes to drive to Hopkins from S. Minneapolis on the cross-town to go to work — even with the upset caused by the exchange construction. Yesterday morning it took just under an hour. Both ways. Oh joy of joys, that’s a great way to start your day. I think Grand Theft Auto would do well to release a morning rush hour version of their game — complete with tanks and cruise missiles.

After spending 2 hours on the road to spend one hour at work, Sid and I braved the slipperiness once more to attend the Pug-A-Dazzle. It started slow as many people were very late trying to drive in through the snow. But eventually the turn out was pretty good. Sid loved it of course. He spent the entire time racing around chasing and being chased by the other pugs (whether they were willing participants or not.) Everyone generally agreed that Sid was very handsome with his longer than typical legs and adorable light face. He sure slept well that night. read more »