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Revenge of the Cheerleader Ninja Movies

I didn’t think one could do much better than Kill Bill, but apparently director Corey Yuen has tried. I saw this image for DOA: Dead or Alive in the Tribune’s movie review section today and couldn’t resist a little more digging. (Come on — would you pass up a movie based on scantily clad ninja girls?) You can be pretty sure there’s going to be at least one wardrobe malfunction.

Who cares about the plot or the fact that this is yet another video game gone movie attempt. Hormonal teens everywhere are racing to their rental outlets to bring this baby home for a night. I guess there does come a point when even gratuitous boobs can’t compensate for god-awful script writing and a hundred dollar shooting budget. But you can’t blame a guy for submitting his movie reviews for the sake of the greater good. Like reading playboy for the articles. :)

It reminds me of when the Rabbit and I were scouring through the local Hollywood Video looking for an adequate flick. I stumbled across Cheerleader Ninjas and argued for its merit. The Rabbit, however, had his doubts and talked me out of it. “But how can you go wrong with cheerleaders and ninjas and ninja swords and…”, I claimed. But the Rabbit would have none of it. (He probably rented it later on his own.)

And now someone’s working on Ninja Cheerleaders, which is probably not nearly as good as this one. (Yay for google searching.) Clearly there’s a sizable audience demanding this pairing of professions — ninjas and cheerleading, that is. And why not. Might as well pack as many fight scenes/shower scenes as you can into an hour and a half time slot. It may not be as great as Snakes on a Plane, but it’s gotta come close.

So now if you ladies are feeling left on the wayside by all this nubile ninja action — don’t fret. You’re still sexy too. Anyone can be a “girl gone wild”, just check out these glamorous gals strutting their stuff…