Well, this letter has been a long time coming! For some strange reason, every time I tell myself I’m going to write, I suddenly find myself sleeping or reading or doing anything but writing. It must be the starchy non-protien diet - I swear I’m not just lazy! :-) But, the time has finally came; I’m jacked up on coffee, still riding the bouyant wave of me excellent sentence, and highly motivated for the nest fifteen minutes at least.
So, what’s new since last I wrote? I’ve been in a single cell for the past 4 months or so. It’s extremely nice having a spot where I can get some privacy, and since this is the only single I’ll have until I get out roughly 2,160,000 minutes from now - I figured I’d spruce the place up a bit. I’m not sure if you know what the cells here look like, so allow me to take you on a verbal tour of a marvel in early 21st century penal architecture.
Starting from the cloyingly eye-pleasing lavender doorway - complete with ultra-secure burgular proof lock system - and travelling counter-clockwise, we stop first to admire the walk up closet (1). Where one can supposedly hang 2 towels, a washcloth, and 2 full sets of clothing in pleasantly quaint open view - make sure no dirties are over when hosting guests! We continue on the highly contraband 4-ply wool blanket/carpeting (2) in a pleasantly stark charcoal gray. Sure to make those 4 foot midnight jaunts to the bathroom much more comfortable to the bare feet. This nappy floor covering, while difficult to obtain and subject to surprise removal by an abstinately priggish Corrections Officer is a must for the prisoner seeking a humbly stylish abode. Moving on in our peregrination, we arrive at the wonderfully sturdy 2 foot high pallet (3). Made of unyeilding concrete covered with a 3” thick plastic mattress, this uncommodious sleep center, sure to contribute to back pain later in life, will inure even the softest soul to the somnulent hardships faced by the homeless and Russian Gulay prisoners.
Continuing our turn around the homefront we come to the utile clerk/shelf/gym/private vault/library area (4). The confluence of utility consists of a hardy steel writing desk which doubles as an open shelf to hold a prisoner’s baubles and miscellaneous bric-a-brac. Under this august piece one finds a veritable bank vault of inanely secure storage space in the form of a Rubbermaid® tote. In the micromanaged space between this indubitable plastic wonder and the lovely ceramic bathroom fixtures a bare two feet away, we find a cornucopia of murder mysteries and John Grisham novels that form a sparse, well thumbed library adjacent to the home gym apparatus made of water bottles and a laundry bag.
And finally we venture into the bathroom/laundry area (5),(6). Consisting of a stark, lidless commode and a quaintly small sink that doubles as a washer/dryer and topped by a foot square steel mirror and small cosmetic shelf, this utilitarianly unadorned section of the household definitely enhances the blackmarket carpeting and bohemian hanging art that add comfort and color to our domicile. And so ends our tour or this nutty lodging. For more information look forward to the next month’s edition of Better Cells and Gardens.
Anyhoo, that’s the palace. Other than searching out new decorating techniques, I keep busy with exercising, drawing, and until recently the running of a Texas Hold’em poker parlor. I had to give up the poker table - even though the money I made was excellent, the arguments at the table got so frequent that every night I was coming home with headaches. Imagine trying to keep control of 10 convicts who are all gathered to try and take each other’s money. Not to mention the fact that 7 of the 10 were usually blacks who would rather cause chaos and bullshit than play cards. It was a good time to quit. Also, I need to spend most of my time on the current picture I’m drawing. A buddy of mine in here bought one of my pictures for his sister and she liked it so much that she mailed on out of an art magazine for me to do for her. It’s called “Myakka Sunset” by Bob Malarz. Look it up on the net - it’s pretty cool. It’ll probably take me about a month and a half total to do, but I’m a little over halfway through and it’s coming along quite well. The only this is now that I’m sentenced, I could leave at any time - so hopefully I’ll be able to finish before I go.
Thanks for coming to court - it was great to see you. (Even if it was under those circumstances!) I wish I could have talked with you guys more, but for some odd reason, Federal courthouses have a church-like stifling effect on conversations. I kind of felt like I was sinning; talking out loud in front of everybody, shouting across 20 feet of deathly quiet courtroom air.
I was surprised at the excellent sentence I got. (Fuchs-1:Feds-0 ha, ha) I’m also glad that the Feds have a lot more structure after prison than the state does. I’m going to need that - even though I’m quite positive I’ll get sick to death of saying, “Hi, I’m Adam, I’m an alcoholic.” Although I heard there’s usually some good looking chicks in those programs! Altogether, I think I got extremely lucky. Now I’ve just got to get through the next 4 or so years.
I’m not sure what security level I’ll be going to yet. They used to have a number you could call where the B.O.P. would tell you what level you got designated to. Now all they tell you is that you are designated, not what level your going to. I guess I’m right on the border between staying in Minnesota and going to Sandstone, Waseca - both minimums - or going to Oxford in Wisconsin - a medium. To tell the truth, it doesn’t matter where I go. I know people in all of the prisons, and no matter where I go, I’ll be tested and once I fight once or twice, I’ll be left alone.
I couldn’t believe how thin Kevin was. Even the pictures and what Mom said in her letters didn’t prepare me for that. I thought for a second he was just going to slump over and collapse, he seemed so weak. I hope he gets over this thing soon. At least from what it sounds like, he’s going to be able to go to this camp in July. He deserves it!
How have things been going for you? How’s things with Joy? I’ve been seeing commercials for this INXS contest on TV. It would have been cool if she could have made it to Hollywood. But I’m sure she’ll get her break sooner or later, if that’s what she wants. Have you been taking any trips, or doing anything for this summer? When I get to prison you’ll have to send me some more pictures.
Well, until Paul Harvey tells the rest of the story - that’s all the news. Thanks again for coming to court - it really meant a lot to me.