As further evidence to my total geek affiliation, I will now admit to often enjoying the witty (to geeks anyway) banter found in various irc circles. For you total n00bs, IRC stands for “internet relay chat” and is as old as the internet itself. Back in 1994 when we were all using aol and discovering “chat rooms”, it was really the what we now call IRC.
Obviously no sane or intelligent person uses aol anymore, but the hardcore geek-d00ds still use IRC as there communication with others in the “real world”. Indeed, it is now the realm of haX0rs and star trek fans. I think that 3 or maybe 4 females use the IRC. Although not a regular participant, I do get my chuckles out of lurking and reading others’ communications. Sometimes they’re very clever, sometimes so pitiful that you can’t help but smirk. Either way, it’s always entertaining. If you can relate on the geek level at least.
The IRC is also the birth of most of the common internet memes that we all can relate to today. Pirates vs ninjas, lol-cats, bloodninja, and of course hax0r speek, amongst others. These pasty-white, sun-starved, hot pocket-eating, beady-eyed males are responsible for what most of the popular internet is made of. Between their sessions of WoW or other gamer activity, that is.
Regardless, here a few of my favs:
Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o’bandwith near ye’ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.
<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
<booradley> I’d like to perform a one act play I call, “Creative screwed me like a bitch”
<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I’m ever so sexy
<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we’ll play among the stars
<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
<booradley> :: later ::
<booradley> <boo> there, you’re all installed. how do you feel?
<neshura> down in front!
<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
<booradley> * hard drive has died
<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!
<booradley> <modem> aaieee
<booradley> *modem has died
<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
<Shendal> By far, that’s the best one-act IRC play I’ve read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?
(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I’m sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let’s pretend I’m 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I’m dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well……after I’m dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I’m dressed up, I’m bald and wearing boxers…sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ….
<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name :)
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you’d have a more communicative name. :)
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It’d be… ‘telecommunicative.’
* Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he’s out of paper ant toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> :)
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter *
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo’s in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be “Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two”
If you’re as geeky as me, then go on and read some more…