internet goodies

Japanese Bug Fights!

goobermaster — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:44:15 -0500

I stumbled across this website on

Japanese Bug Fights!

Uck! This is utterly disgusting, like watching the “giant centipede eats a mouse” youtube video. But I can’t help but be fascinated by these battles and watch them in their entirety.

The cast of contenders includes most all of Earth’s giant multi-legged creatures. From crayfish to spiders to centipedes to insects. They’ve 30 battle videos posted so far and you’d be surprised to find out which bug wins in the nefarious pairings. Let me just say that the potato bug (or Jerusalem cricket) kicks ass — that’s one tough bug.

The rules are as follows:

Two Bugs to a fight
Bug fights go on as long as they have to
No outside weapons in Bug Fights

These vids will make your skin crawl.

*Watch at your own risk — you can’t say I didn’t try to warn you.

Millions of Ghost Chicks

goobermaster — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:02:57 -0500

Subnormality delivers once again.

See how an egg
barn works here.

…Eggs only come from female chickens, right? Millions of ‘em, stuck in those factory farm cages laying eggs year-round. And they have to be replaced every two years, so that means new hens are constantly being bred to keep egg production going. But what about all the male chickens that are inevitably being hatched too? No use to the egg industry, right? Well, all those millions of male chicks — tiny, day-old chicks — are gathered up and slaughtered in a high-speed grinder! Millions every year! A level of death unprecedented in nature — just think about that.

And then think about this: If a ghost is the restless spirit of a creature that has died violently, then just think of all the ghost chicks that are roaming the streets under your feet. Billions of fuzzy little babies wandering confusedly around looking for their mothers and never finding them, sheltering from the rain under discarded newspapers, pecking in futility at crumbs of food — unable to understand their own intangibility. Billions of tiny little souls, gliding among the blades of grass in a city park, running from dogs that can’t even see them, never growing up, spending eternity in confused anguish because no-one can help them. Millions more joining their numbers each year…

I love the image of millions of forever lost ghost chicks wandering for eternity. I imagine the cubicle next to mine is probably full of ‘em — more sneaking in each time the front door opens.

Best Business Card Ever!

goobermaster — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 23:33:12 -0500

Alright, I’m gonna blatantly rip this off — cause it’s that damn clever.

May I present my new business card:

USED CARS — LAND — WHISKEY — MANURE — NAILS FLY SWATTERS — RACING FORMS — BONGOS
GOOBERTECH ENTERPRISES Un-Ltd. R. P. FUCHS, President
Wars Fought Revolutions Started Assassinations Plotted Governments Run Uprisings Quelled	Stud Service Tigers Tamed Bars Emptied Computers Verified Orgies Organized

Back to the internet roots.

goobermaster — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:49:55 -0500

As further evidence to my total geek affiliation, I will now admit to often enjoying the witty (to geeks anyway) banter found in various irc circles. For you total n00bs, IRC stands for “internet relay chat” and is as old as the internet itself. Back in 1994 when we were all using aol and discovering “chat rooms”, it was really the what we now call IRC.

Obviously no sane or intelligent person uses aol anymore, but the hardcore geek-d00ds still use IRC as there communication with others in the “real world”. Indeed, it is now the realm of haX0rs and star trek fans. I think that 3 or maybe 4 females use the IRC. Although not a regular participant, I do get my chuckles out of lurking and reading others’ communications. Sometimes they’re very clever, sometimes so pitiful that you can’t help but smirk. Either way, it’s always entertaining. If you can relate on the geek level at least.

The IRC is also the birth of most of the common internet memes that we all can relate to today. Pirates vs ninjas, lol-cats, bloodninja, and of course hax0r speek, amongst others. These pasty-white, sun-starved, hot pocket-eating, beady-eyed males are responsible for what most of the popular internet is made of. Between their sessions of WoW or other gamer activity, that is.

Regardless, here a few of my favs:

Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o’bandwith near ye’ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN read more »

Self-made Internet Nerd Phenomenoms

goobermaster — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 10:26:41 -0500

Since Jen is not the geek that I am and was clueless to the following late internet memes, here’s a list as I can recall:

Goatse.cx - The infamous stretched sphincter shot that started life as punishment for hotlinking. It even made it to the cover of Time.
All your base are belong to us - An Engrish translation that quickly found its way stamped and graffitied all over various jpegs and signage.
Numa Numa - Watch it, it describes itself. This New Jersey kid got way more attention than he asked for after releasing this vid to the masses. Even the song went to the top of international charts afterwards.
Sweater Girl - I’ve mentioned this classy lass before. Buy some new damn pants already.
Tron Guy - Minnesota grown. This guy hit infamy by making his own skin tight spandex outfit with neon and not wearing underwear under it.
Peter Pan “Man” - Other than Richard Simmons, the fruitiest guy in the world, I think. ‘Nuff said.
The Star Wars Kid - By displaying his “ahem” jedi-mastery in front of the camera, this dork achieved fame and was on to Letterman and Leno.

Wikipedia has some more…

And then there’s the “Snakes on a Plane” phrase, coke/mentos, Chuck Norris facts, Strong Bad and Homestar Runner, Hampster Dance and Badger Dance, and that damn 3D dancing baby.

So what else can you come up with — what am I missing?