review

10,000 BC aka 10,000 (B)latant Ina(c)curacies

goobermaster — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:30:19 -0500

My God, where do I start… I haven’t seen such non-historical drivel since A-pile-a-crap-to.

10,000 BC came via Netflix yesterday, so Laura and I watched it last night to see how bad it might actually be. To be fair, I’ll start with what worked:

Vast sweeping panoramic shots.
Decent special effects. (Although mammoths can’t “gallop”, they were pretty stunning in their CGI actualization. Furthermore, since when have archeologists found evidence of domesticated desert mammoths?!?)
The movie isn’t over two hours long.

And that’s about all I can come up with. Here’s a small bit of what is wrong with it:

Wooden acting. I’ll forgive the fact that the cavemen are speaking modern English, but what the hell was the middle eastern accent for when they were apparently from southern Europe. Casting Richard Dean Anderson or William Shatner would have worked just as well.
The anachronistic errors in this movie boggle the mind. I understand that the director/writers weren’t going for a historically accurate documentary here, but come on… mammoths coupled with Egyptian pyramids coupled with metal working and horse riding? Really?!?
Plot — or lack thereof. I’ve seen better character development in episodes of Spongebob Squarepants. ‘nuff said.
Allusions to Atlantis, prophecies, aliens, telepathy, etc. This seems a common theme in Emmerich’s wildy impossible, apocalyptic films. I can enjoy being entertained by such notions in a story, but he never provides anything to substantiate such claims and they generally end up giving his films yet another layer of discredit. Fail.

From the IMDb site, I am on the same page as this guy: read more »

Wake Up World Hootenanny

goobermaster — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:58:40 -0500

Last Tuesday, I joined Tiffiny and Allison for the Wake Up World Hootenanny at the Parkview Theater. After a short wait in line, we were sat front row in/by the leather couches. Woot! Perfect for a picture taking frenzy. :) Wheeled status does have its advantages.

I was excited, I hadn’t been to one of Jim’s Hootenannies for a long time and tonight’s was special in its political nature. We were not disappointed.

The schedule was thus: read more »

6:30: Doors
7:00: Wake Up World! With Lizz Winstead and crew
www.shootthemessengernyc.com
8:30: Billy Bragg
www.myspace.com/billybragg

Torch Theater Presents: "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

goobermaster — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:45:24 -0500

Last night, some friends and I went to see the show at the Garage Theater, aka “the Torch Theater Company”. I’ve walked by the building on the corner of Franklin and Lyndale many many times, but had never been inside. It used to be an auto repair shop that someone bought and converted into a large open stage back in the 80’s.

We sat down with a sold to capacity audience after paying our “pay-what-you-can” donation. Tickets were normally $30. I saw most people hand a five over. I gave ten. And best of all, the cocktails were sold the same way. :) High shelf drinks for a few dollar bills and then free during intermission. Yay! read more »

Mimi Smartypants tells the World

goobermaster — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:19:36 -0500

Mimi’s is another blog I started reading years ago. Her style and format are completely unique and even though a little dated (code-wise), that too has become part of her style. Careful! You’ve been warned — if you visit the Smartypants blog, you’ll be trapped for hours. You’ll say, “just one more entry, then I’ll go to bed…” And then it’ll be 4 in the morning.

Her book is just like that. I’m currently half way through and that’s because I stayed up half the night unable to put it down. The book is candid and brilliantly humorous. She’ll make you laugh at things we shouldn’t (even if you feel guilty about it), because we’ve all commiserated about the same things and she words it such that you can’t help it. I haven’t laughed so hard while reading a book since the last David Sedaris collection.

In her blog, Mimi Smartypants has gone from single Chicago bar hopper to adoptive mother of Nora. Regardless, the wit remains. It really doesn’t matter what Mimi ruminates about — you’ll love it anyway and ask for more.

- visit today* -

* but recall my warning.:)

My phone is better than your phone

goobermaster — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:08:27 -0500

The ol’ Razr finally died. A death that might have looked something like this. :) Anyway, on going to my online Cingular account to cash in on my insurance, I see I qualify for an upgrade. I just have to sell my soul to Cingular for another year.

After much deliberation and web hunting, I decided that the coolest of cool phones is the new AT&T Tilt 8925, otherwise known as the HTC Kaiser.
read more »

Cloverfield - the Real Monster Revealed

goobermaster — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:29:12 -0600

I’ve been wanting to see Cloverfield since seeing the initial un-named trailer with the Statue of Liberty without her head. Finally this last weekend, Bryn and I went to see it while it was still on the big screen. Half the theater hated it and voiced that opinion loudly, (but half the theater was punk kids with ADD and no Ritalin.) I thought it was brilliant!

I can see how one would either love or hate this film, though. There’s not much gray area. The hand held filming style lends a certain credibility and realism to the movie, but it nearly gives you a headache and you’re constantly straining your neck to try and see what’s just off camera. So many times in my head, I was yelling, “Hold still dammit.” or “No! Effin’ A, go back to the monster!”.

Furthermore, no questions are answered. We never find out what the thing is, why it’s eating Manhattan, why you explode if bitten by the giant parasites, etc. We don’t find out if it dies in the end or even if our protagonists survive. People with mush-brains tend to hate that. They need everything spelled out and neatly buttoned up in their movies. I, for one, am the opposite. The more open ended the plot, the more your imagination can take over and create it’s own plausible scenarios. And the fact that the film didn’t provide any “experts” to tell us anything, the actual physics and back story are left up to us to ponder. Being the overly-analytical skeptic that I am, I really appreciate that.

Big warning — spoiler after the jump.
So if you haven’t seen the movie yet, do yourself a favor and wait until you do. Half the fun of the movie is that you never really get a good look at the beast. read more »

"Juno" Fulfills My Expectations and More

goobermaster — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:28:49 -0600

So I’ve finally seen Juno. Took long enough. As stated earlier, I’ve had it on my “must see” list for a while. So after ditching the NE scene, Kat and I caught the late night show down at the lagoon.

And it was as expected: delightful, witty, and cleverness galore. Everything I’d’ve wanted out of a Diablo Cody script. I especially loved all the little hometown references while we strained to recognize the various Minneapolis film locations. Reminiscent of Napolean Dynamite, Ghost World, Little Miss Sunshine, and Welcome to the Dollhouse, this film leaves us smirking at the multitude of repeatable lines. Here’re a few of my favorites:

Juno MacGuff: [dog barking] God, Banana! Shut your freakin’ gob!

Rollo: So what’s the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?
Juno MacGuff: There it is. The little pink plus sign is so unholy.
[shakes pregnancy tester]
Rollo: That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.

Juno MacGuff: I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.
Leah: You should look in the PennySaver.
Juno MacGuff: They have ads for parents?
Leah: Yeah! ‘Desperately Seeking Spawn.’

Punk Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They’re boysenberry.
Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I’m off sex right now.
Punk Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

Mac MacGuff: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener.

Juno MacGuff: I’m just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know…
[brief pause]
Juno MacGuff: …infants.

The Bitter Films Collection by Don Hertzfeldt

goobermaster — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:03:24 -0600

I recall when I saw Rejected for the first time back in 2003. It was the Rabbit who enlightened me and I immediately adored its brilliance and odd humor.

Don Hertzfeldt, (a year my junior), began scribbling the foundations for his films in high school. Now, since hitting the internet, his animated shorts have become as popular as Strongbad or other meme icons. Everyone is familiar with the lines, “My spoon is too big,” and “I am a banana.” And of course, it was out of this film, the whole idea of the crumpet was birthed.

The new films in my collection:

That was 4 years ago. Now Bitter Films has released the collector’s edition set of Hertzfeldt’s work. I watched ‘em last night and it is awesome to see the films on the big screen. :) It’s brilliance all over again. And not just Rejected — the other films are just as witty and clever, not to mention the myriad of little vignettes interspersed throughout the DVD’s. There’s tons to explore as we journey into the rabbit-hole of Don’s mind. Get your set today!

And as if the films themselves weren’t enough, Hertzfeldt is quick to point out on one of the DVDs that “no computers were used in producing this film.” Each frame is stop-animation, photographed with the same camera that was used for “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”. The techniques and results are awesome. Quirky jitteryness overrides each movie and lends a unique style reminiscent of old Sesame Street shorts or early David Lynch cartoons.

Zojirushi makes happy rice and more!

goobermaster — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 19:49:18 -0600

I’m lovin’ my new rice maker. I eat a lot of it, so it’s more than handy to have a little machine in the corner that does all the work for me while I prepare other edibles.

The first job I gave it didn’t even involve rice — instead couscous was on the menu and I thought I’d see how it would fair with the wee pasta. While stew was brewing in the crockpot, I set up the new cooker with the following: read more »

The Real Reason the Queen Hated Snow

goobermaster — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:47:38 -0600

by Annette Marie Hyder

I’ve only met Annette via myspace a while ago, but I quickly became enamored with her word-smithing abilities. I’ve always been a fan of people skilled in writing (not being all that stellar myself) and Annette does not disappoint. Her website and blog are full of little poem tidbits that have blossomed from a mature and driven seed. Wonderful stuff.

Annette’s new book is no exception. It’s a collection of poems, stories, recipes, and other bits of goodness with a central theme of home-spun fairy tales and mythology. I especially enjoy the explanations accompanying most of the entries explaining some of the creative insight and thought behind the pieces. It’s a real look into the author’s mind and I’m pleased that she’s so open to share such intimate details with us.

The book also has a central theme focusing on feminism and the beauty that is woman in general. I like to think that we live in a modern world by now, but you’ll certainly agree that we still have a long way to go. Gender inequality and the extra struggle it entails bring out a strong voice of opinion in this collection, but not in an overpowering way. It’s subtle and secondary to the child-like charm each story and poem deliver.

I’m certainly glad to have my copy. Hurry up and buy yours today. Amazon currently only has 5 copies left while the publisher prints more.