Cloverfield - the Real Monster Revealed

I’ve been wanting to see Cloverfield since seeing the initial un-named trailer with the Statue of Liberty without her head. Finally this last weekend, Bryn and I went to see it while it was still on the big screen. Half the theater hated it and voiced that opinion loudly, (but half the theater was punk kids with ADD and no Ritalin.) I thought it was brilliant!

I can see how one would either love or hate this film, though. There’s not much gray area. The hand held filming style lends a certain credibility and realism to the movie, but it nearly gives you a headache and you’re constantly straining your neck to try and see what’s just off camera. So many times in my head, I was yelling, “Hold still dammit.” or “No! Effin’ A, go back to the monster!”.

Furthermore, no questions are answered. We never find out what the thing is, why it’s eating Manhattan, why you explode if bitten by the giant parasites, etc. We don’t find out if it dies in the end or even if our protagonists survive. People with mush-brains tend to hate that. They need everything spelled out and neatly buttoned up in their movies. I, for one, am the opposite. The more open ended the plot, the more your imagination can take over and create it’s own plausible scenarios. And the fact that the film didn’t provide any “experts” to tell us anything, the actual physics and back story are left up to us to ponder. Being the overly-analytical skeptic that I am, I really appreciate that.

Big warning — spoiler after the jump.
So if you haven’t seen the movie yet, do yourself a favor and wait until you do. Half the fun of the movie is that you never really get a good look at the beast. read more »

"Juno" Fulfills My Expectations and More

So I’ve finally seen Juno. Took long enough. As stated earlier, I’ve had it on my “must see” list for a while. So after ditching the NE scene, Kat and I caught the late night show down at the lagoon.

And it was as expected: delightful, witty, and cleverness galore. Everything I’d’ve wanted out of a Diablo Cody script. I especially loved all the little hometown references while we strained to recognize the various Minneapolis film locations. Reminiscent of Napolean Dynamite, Ghost World, Little Miss Sunshine, and Welcome to the Dollhouse, this film leaves us smirking at the multitude of repeatable lines. Here’re a few of my favorites:

• Juno MacGuff: [dog barking] God, Banana! Shut your freakin’ gob!
• Rollo: So what’s the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?
  Juno MacGuff: There it is. The little pink plus sign is so unholy.
  [shakes pregnancy tester]
  Rollo: That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.
• Juno MacGuff: I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.
  Leah: You should look in the PennySaver.
  Juno MacGuff: They have ads for parents?
  Leah: Yeah! ‘Desperately Seeking Spawn.’
• Punk Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They’re boysenberry.
  Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I’m off sex right now.
  Punk Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.
• Mac MacGuff: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener.
• Juno MacGuff: I’m just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know…
  [brief pause]
  Juno MacGuff: …infants.

The Bitter Films Collection by Don Hertzfeldt

I recall when I saw Rejected for the first time back in 2003. It was the Rabbit who enlightened me and I immediately adored its brilliance and odd humor.

Don Hertzfeldt, (a year my junior), began scribbling the foundations for his films in high school. Now, since hitting the internet, his animated shorts have become as popular as Strongbad or other meme icons. Everyone is familiar with the lines, “My spoon is too big,” and “I am a banana.” And of course, it was out of this film, the whole idea of the crumpet was birthed.

That was 4 years ago. Now Bitter Films has released the collector’s edition set of Hertzfeldt’s work. I watched ‘em last night and it is awesome to see the films on the big screen. :) It’s brilliance all over again. And not just Rejected — the other films are just as witty and clever, not to mention the myriad of little vignettes interspersed throughout the DVD’s. There’s tons to explore as we journey into the rabbit-hole of Don’s mind. Get your set today!

And as if the films themselves weren’t enough, Hertzfeldt is quick to point out on one of the DVDs that “no computers were used in producing this film.” Each frame is stop-animation, photographed with the same camera that was used for “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”. The techniques and results are awesome. Quirky jitteryness overrides each movie and lends a unique style reminiscent of old Sesame Street shorts or early David Lynch cartoons.

Black Sheep

Baaa…aaa…! Baaaaaaa!

After doing all the creature creation for “Lord of the Rings” and “King Kong” with Peter Jackson, the Weta Workshop needed something a little more serious. Good thing Jonathan King came along with Black Sheep. :) Although “Black Sheep” may not have a line as cool as Samuel L. Jackson’s in “Snakes on a Plane”, the sock-puppet and heads-on-sticks cheese factor well makes up for it. Honestly though, when the Weta folk get involved in a low-budget horror romp — why wouldn’t you want to see it?

Sock puppet or Space Herpe?

Our action starts with the little fella to the left who looks like a cross between a mutated muppet and the space herpe. After biting the hippy’s ear off, it bites another sheep and the trouble begins. Apparently, one bite transfers the evilness werewolf style and the sickness quickly spreads to the rest of the herd. Meanwhile, the hippy is busy turning into a sheep himself. Weresheep — yay! In the words of the mad scientist of the film, “It looks like we’ve finally achieved spontaneous cellular transfer.” Perfect — sounds like the “Island of Dr. Moreau” to me. (Sadly, a film not yet in my collection. read more »

Wendigo

The Wendigo is a mythological entity from Algonquian Indian culture. It is a creature that’s part human that cannibalizes people lost in the woods. Typically during winter and always in the night. The nifty part is its Minnesotan heritage. Wendigo legend has its roots in the Great Lakes region being a story told to frighten youngsters in Algonquian and Ojibwa tribes.

More specifically, though, the Wendigo is the spirit of the forest that overtakes a person and forces them towards horrific actions. Stories indicate how a person overcome by the elements, starvation, and cold will fall victim to the Wendigo and go mad while preying upon his fellow mankind. As Steve Pitt writes in Legion Magazine…

“A Windigo was a human whose selfishness has overpowered their self-control to the point that satisfaction is no longer possible. That is why Windigos are always hungry no matter how much they eat.” read more »

Revenge of the Cheerleader Ninja Movies

I didn’t think one could do much better than Kill Bill, but apparently director Corey Yuen has tried. I saw this image for DOA: Dead or Alive in the Tribune’s movie review section today and couldn’t resist a little more digging. (Come on — would you pass up a movie based on scantily clad ninja girls?) You can be pretty sure there’s going to be at least one wardrobe malfunction.

Who cares about the plot or the fact that this is yet another video game gone movie attempt. Hormonal teens everywhere are racing to their rental outlets to bring this baby home for a night. I guess there does come a point when even gratuitous boobs can’t compensate for god-awful script writing and a hundred dollar shooting budget. But you can’t blame a guy for submitting his movie reviews for the sake of the greater good. Like reading playboy for the articles. :) read more »

Best 80's movies ever!

I have lots of great 80’s flicks, like The Breakfast Club, Big Trouble in Little China and The Princess Bride to name a few. But today I’m now the proud “owner” of two of the best:

RAD

I’m extra excited about this one, because it’s not available on DVD. I ordered it from a French-Canadian pirate seller from this site. He must’ve dubbed it from VHS with some fancy tools. The quality is great. And it came with the soundtrack! My buddies and I used to rent this at least once a week and try to simulate the BMX tricks in our sprog years. Then we’d watch the “Thriller” video that was at the end of the tape.

This Star Wars spoof never fails to make me laugh. I recall giggling with Dad at the frog lady and the space herpes and all the other ridiculousness that the movie commands. It’s recently been added to the Netflix family, so if you haven’t seen it yet — by all means enlighten yourself.

Then check out the gallery page, cause there’re six new albums to peek at.